Compaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare, compare, compare. Comparison is the thief of joy. – Teddy Roosevelt
People always say that once you live abroad, you leave a piece of your heart wherever you go, and that will always be true, but trying to compare the places you’ve been and dwelling on the past can’t lead to anything good.
I lived in Italy, got the travel rush and immediately started planning for China. Paperwork took so long that I was miserable waiting at home. I made it to China and ended up not really liking it as much as I thought I would, and started planning for Russia while we were still there. I went home for a week between, and I think it wasn’t quite enough because as open minded as I tried to be about a 2 year commitment in Russia, I really missed home.
Moscow had one of it’s coldest Septembers ever, right when I arrived and I am a desert rat who had just spent half a year in the tropics! It was a tough transition, and it certainly didn’t help that I hit the ground running and went into my first day of work about 4 hours after landing.
I felt stuck, I felt homesick, I felt cold. I was watching my friends posting Instagram stories of the never-ending summer activities I knew and loved in AZ while facing my first Russian winter, and anyone who had to deal with me got an earful of how unhappy I was.
I liked living abroad (I still do), but I think I rushed too fast into another round and then I really leaned into it and made myself feel more trapped and miserable than I really had reason to be.
Between bad management, poor work environment, abusive coworkers, and Covid, it took me about a year to really give Moscow a chance and settle in, and it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Moscow has so much to offer- comfort, convenience, cost, and culture, but I didn’t let myself recognize it fast enough, and now that I finally made it back home, I’m realizing all that I had there and didn’t appreciate enough.
Mindfulness could have solved all of this. If I had addressed my issues head on, I would have escaped a whole cycle of sadness.
Working less, going out more, finding friends and hobbies, and calling my family more also helped me turn it around, but I wasted a lot of time getting there.
Try not to compare, but instead throw yourself into all the best the place that you’re in has to offer!
Living in the US right now is honestly not great – cost of living has skyrocketed, and pay hasn’t improved at all, food culture is not spectacular, transportation is terrible (as always). But my family is here, and there is beautiful nature, I have far better professional development opportunities, and I can speak the language!
I have now been home for 2 months and I am fully settling back in to Arizona life. I miss Russia a lot, but I’m going to do my best not to let missing somewhere else ruin another possibly fantastic experience.
Finding Eden 