From my times working and studying abroad, I’ve noticed that I’ve changed quite a bit. Of course I’ve changed in the expected ways- more independent, more adventurous, and more sure of myself, but I’ve also changed in some unexpected ways.
I’ve started to speak completely differently. I might even go as far as to say that I lost fluency in my OWN language. You interact with so many people who speak such different levels of English that you tend to simplify as much as possible so you can make sure you’re understood. I’m actually quite proud of the fact that I can have a full conversation with a Russian five-year-old who barely speaks English, but I do miss using long words and having complex conversations. It might just be me, but I can’t do both.
I’ve also become a little bit more closed off. The problem with traveling to countries where they don’t speak your native language, is that you slowly start getting quieter and quieter. My real problem is that I haven’t felt ~comfortable for over a year now because I haven’t been able to grasp enough of the language to be able to talk anyone. Every time I leave the house I worry about having to talk to someone. You really take it for granted in your own country that you can just talk to people; you can ask someone in the store to help you find something, you can respond to someone talking to you on the street, you can be polite to waiters… I miss it.
I have a harder time making close friends. When you jump from place to place you make more friends, but you don’t make close friends. It’s sad to get close to people and then leave. It’s sad to know that it’s likely you’ll never see your friends again after you leave the country. Its also hard to hold on to old friendships. People have lives and no matter how much effort you put into your friendships, it’s different when you’re not there. You have to be there, physically hang out, and see them regularly to keep your friends close.
Everything is give and take, and it’s hard for me to know for sure that I made the right decision with where I am. Every decision you make will change the path your life takes and I wonder if I’m making the right choices. Or even if there are such things as right choices. Who would I be if I had never left home? Would that person be better or worse than who I am now?
Until living in Europe I didn’t realize that it wasn’t common for everyone to get every possible vaccine as a child.
And until Covid times, I didn’t realize that it’s not accurate to say that all Americans love vaccines.
But I do. I love them.
It was crazy to me to find out that none of my coworkers or the students at our school had been vaccinated against chicken pox. When there was an outbreak at our school every single kid came down with it and the school manager texted to ask if I had chicken pox already as a child and I had to tell her I had never even met someone who has every had chicken pox!
After this incident I got a little bit obsessed and started asking anyone who was willing to answer about their opinion on vaccines and if they were planning on vaccinating their own kids- and I was shocked to find out that no, they were not.
Outside of the US it’s generally preferred to just expose your kids to a virus if it’s not deadly, but personally, I’d rather save them the pain, discomfort, and scars whenever possible.
I feel the same about any vaccine- I trust the science, vaccines have been around for a long time, and generally do what they’re meant to do with no downsides. I’d much rather have a sore arm than get a preventable disease!
Because of this I have taken every Covid Vaccine offered to me. I took both doses of Sputnik in February 2021, and when I returned to the states in August and found that it still wasn’t recognized by the WHO, I took both doses of Moderna too. I was even featured in a USA Today article, being one of only a handful of people who have taken multiple covid vaccines (against CDC recommendations.)
I like vaccines, I trust science, and I’m also not scared of GMOs. 😉
Russians really aren’t as different as you would expect, after you get past a first impression stage with a Russian, you’ll find they are incredibly similar to Americans or western Europeans. There were very few things I found to be surprising, and they’re all quite minor.
First, if you text a Russian, even if you are friends, you should include a greeting. I will go months between texts with my friends and just jump back in and say “OMG did you see that so-and-so is pregnant?!” with no introduction. Even if you text someone regularly about the same type of thing, you are expected to start a text with something like “Hi X, how are you? Do you want to get a coffee with me today?” It’s a bit unnatural to me. Normally, I’d just pipe right in with “Coffee today?”
A side note to texting Russians, expect to see a bunch of single sided parentheses after texts. ))) You may be smarter than me and realize that this is supposed to be a smiley face, but maybe not. The reverse also works and ((( represents sadness.
Second, if you work in Russia, expect to change clothes and shoes constantly. I didn’t like this at first because I hate carrying stuff around with me, but it’s actually pretty nice, especially if you have to wear a uniform at work. You can wear something nice or super warm for your commute and for a possible outing after work, and keep your work clothes completely separate.
Third relates to holidays, specifically birthdays. Russians have a special skill for speeches. While the typical Russian is quite closed off, they tend to gush very sincerely for your birthday or any celebration get together. If you have a coworker, I would recommend spending a few minutes and thinking of some kind of speech about things you like about them and things you hope for their future.
Fourth is more of an observation, and not necessarily anything that will affect your life in any tangible way, unless I suppose you are a man, and you choose to date a Russian woman. When you walk on the street in Moscow expect to see at least one man with a huge bouquet of flowers. Flower shops are wildly successful because there are constant occasions to give flowers in Russia, and lots of rules and superstitions surrounding them. The type of flower is of course important, but surprisingly, so is the number- you must not give an even number of flowers no matter how many flowers you end up with because that is reserved for funerals.
And lastly, superstitions are rampant, but don’t regularly affect expats; mostly in the simple things that don’t happen normally anyway. For example, if a girl sits on the edge of a table, she will never get married, if you sit on the cold ground, you’ll be infertile, if you whistle indoors you’ll be poor, and everyone’s favorite, if you shake hands or accept a package through an open doorway its bad luck. Make sure you either step out into the hall, or you invite them inside.
Compaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare, compare, compare. Comparison is the thief of joy. – Teddy Roosevelt
People always say that once you live abroad, you leave a piece of your heart wherever you go, and that will always be true, but trying to compare the places you’ve been and dwelling on the past can’t lead to anything good.
I lived in Italy, got the travel rush and immediately started planning for China. Paperwork took so long that I was miserable waiting at home. I made it to China and ended up not really liking it as much as I thought I would, and started planning for Russia while we were still there. I went home for a week between, and I think it wasn’t quite enough because as open minded as I tried to be about a 2 year commitment in Russia, I really missed home.
Moscow had one of it’s coldest Septembers ever, right when I arrived and I am a desert rat who had just spent half a year in the tropics! It was a tough transition, and it certainly didn’t help that I hit the ground running and went into my first day of work about 4 hours after landing.
I felt stuck, I felt homesick, I felt cold. I was watching my friends posting Instagram stories of the never-ending summer activities I knew and loved in AZ while facing my first Russian winter, and anyone who had to deal with me got an earful of how unhappy I was.
I liked living abroad (I still do), but I think I rushed too fast into another round and then I really leaned into it and made myself feel more trapped and miserable than I really had reason to be.
Between bad management, poor work environment, abusive coworkers, and Covid, it took me about a year to really give Moscow a chance and settle in, and it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Moscow has so much to offer- comfort, convenience, cost, and culture, but I didn’t let myself recognize it fast enough, and now that I finally made it back home, I’m realizing all that I had there and didn’t appreciate enough.
Mindfulness could have solved all of this. If I had addressed my issues head on, I would have escaped a whole cycle of sadness.
Working less, going out more, finding friends and hobbies, and calling my family more also helped me turn it around, but I wasted a lot of time getting there.
Try not to compare, but instead throw yourself into all the best the place that you’re in has to offer!
Living in the US right now is honestly not great – cost of living has skyrocketed, and pay hasn’t improved at all, food culture is not spectacular, transportation is terrible (as always). But my family is here, and there is beautiful nature, I have far better professional development opportunities, and I can speak the language!
I have now been home for 2 months and I am fully settling back in to Arizona life. I miss Russia a lot, but I’m going to do my best not to let missing somewhere else ruin another possibly fantastic experience.
I have a hard time valuing balance in my life. I know it’s important, but there is a lot standing in my way of actively pursuing it.
I teeter totter between a normal healthy lifestyle and absolutely gorging myself while taking 12 steps a day. Depression, narcolepsy, and weather keeps me in bed, and my favorite way to cheer myself is baking elaborate treats. I get obsessed with a new hobby for a couple weeks and then I never touch it again. I think someone is my new best friend until they get on my bad side, and then I hate them forever. I’m all or nothing, and I have a similar story for basically every aspect of my life.
I know I’m not alone, because I’ve seen this comic pop up 1,000 times over the years
Every time I recognize that I have somehow managed to develop the tiniest sliver of balance in my life it’s like an epiphany: “Wow, I have found the key to happiness. I must tell everyone my new discovery!” And then I stop doing whatever I was doing within the week.
It’s just how I operate.
I’m not super sure how I feel about tattoos, but if I did ever get one, it would be the alchemical symbol for balance.
And I’d put it on my bad knee, because irony.
The past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about balance as I leave my job halfway through the day. I was so miserable, angry, and sad at work that I snapped and tried to quit. Well, I did quit, I wrote the letter, I had a new job lined up, but they absolutely begged me to stay. (That’s not super applicable here, I just wanted to include some background info.) So I made a deal and now I get to leave after lunch! Every day when I leave I go through a barrage of emotions. I feel relief, like I’m escaping prison. I feel bad for leaving my coworkers there with an even heavier workload without me. But mostly I feel guilty for not earning as much as I should. It’s not like I have anything else I need to do, I just really don’t want to be there anymore, I’m not happy. I’m still earning more than I need and I’m saving a lot, but I can’t shake that itchy guilt every day.
I’ve always had the mindset that any time you choose not to work when you have the opportunity, that’s the same as money being spent. You’re still losing the money, you’re just losing it by doing something you want to do rather than working. This really influenced how often I went to work sick too. “Am I sick enough to lose $100?” Nah.
Having a salaried job that pays sick leave has definitely been a game changer though. Now the only thing that makes me come to work even if I’m sick is my baby sister syndrome telling me to suck it up, because I’m not really sick. Coronavirus has helped me to recognize how unbelievably irresponsible it is, but I still have to rely on my awesome coworkers to bully me into taking a sick day every once in a while.
I’m still working on not internally shaming myself when I go home, but I have to admit it has improved my quality of life a lot.
It does absolutely no good for me to work less to strive for a better home/work balance if I’m just going to turn around and guilt myself for not maximizing my earning potential!!!
I know this guy who straight up works like 80 hour weeks for a couple months and saves all his money, then quits for 6 months and lives off of ramen and his savings. When he runs out of money, he gets a new job. While that seems sort of stressful and unhealthy to me, that’s balance for him.
I’m still trying to find my balance, especially when it comes to work, but I know it’s important and I’m working on it. Maybe I should get that tattoo to remind me. 😉
It’s arguable that parts of Russia are technically Asian, so you’d expect there to be plenty of boba tea options in the capital. Alas, you actually have to really hunt them down. And I have spent 2 years doing just that, so you don’t have to!
I’ve found these by word of mouth, Instagram, accident, Google, Trip Advisor, and maps- and only two of them were actually on the map. Basically, compiling this list has been my magnum opus. It was a lot of work and I can fairly confidently say that I am the resident expert of boba in Moscow. Even owners of boba shops have been surprised at my list.
Further on, I’ll rank them for you, but if you’re here just to get the closest boba to you, here is my comprehensive list:
Central:
#1 Mendeleevskaya – Nova Bubble
#3 Kitay Gorod – Dav’s Bubble Tea
Kitay Gorod – Bubble Mania
Lubyanka – Nikolskaya 10 Plaza
Serpuhovskaya – Won Cha
#2 Serpuhovskaya – Zin Tea
Serpuhovskaya – Chick O’Rico
Trubnaya – Briket Market – Mo Tea
Northwest:
Savelovskaya – Chick O’Rico
Sokol – Nova Bubble
Northeast:
#5 Baumanskaya – Dragon Bubble
Baumanskaya – Chick O’Rico
Schyolkovskaya – Dragon Bubble
Southwest:
Yugo Zapadnaya – Nova Bubble
#4 Leninskiy Prospekt – Bao Bei
Prospekt Vernadskogo (2km walk from metro) – Bubbleology
Without further ado, here are my top ratings:
#1. Nova Bubble
Not bad locations- all relatively central, but the real selling point is the their menu is perfectly curated and anything you order is spectacular. Really, the quality here is superb.
Zin Tea has spectacular bubbles- sweet, soft, amazing. It could possibly be a different style, as it’s a Vietnamese shop, but I absolutely loved it. Employees are super nice and take pride in their qulaity. Its also like 10 meters from the Serpuhovskaya metro exit! I think it’s the closest you’ll find to the metro if you’re in a hurry. (The only downsides are that it’s a little more expensive than average and there isn’t much else I am interested in nearby.)
This place has tons of options, its in a perfect location, and they must have an A+ supply chain because they never run out of anything (A really common problem lately with Chinese export issues). You can tell it’s a good quality shop because it is all Asian people working there, inside an Asian-focused food court, with TONS of customers. Its a really good staple, especially considering the location.
I am conflicted giving Bao Bei my #4 rating. It’s not a great location inside a HUGE mall at the very top in the back. Even if you’re already in the mall it’ll take you another 10 minutes to find it. They seem to have worse supply chain than others and sometimes close completely because of lack of ingredients, so I’d be sure to check their Instagram before making the trek. The employees also aren’t the nicest (which is fine, I might even say normal for Moscow standards). BUT, their tea is SO good. Really one of my favorites. SO concentrated and flavorful. I couldn’t even put it down to talk.
This one is a chain, and their packaging/advertising is super cute. They also have egg puff waffles, cute little fish waffles, and a pretty interesting menu! They also have super authentic fruit teas, just like in China when you’re not looking to drink 500 calories in one go. The reason it ranks #3 though, is that their boba is kinda meh. It was either undercooked or not sweetened at all, but something seemed wrong with it. However, the popping boba in the fruit tea was really, really good. I’m also pretty sure have their own delivery people!
And because I didn’t rate them all, I need to include the Shops to Avoid
Bubble Mania – Bad Quality, No Tapioca
The ONLY thing Bubble Mania has going for it is location. It’s the only one you’ll just happen across while walking in the city. But it’s horrible. Not good flavors, not true milk tea, and they NEVER have black pearl tapioca bubbles. I’ve been a bunch of times and I always walk away disappointed. (As of May 2021, maps says it is permanently closed.)
They aren’t marketed purely as a boba place, so I’ll cut them some slack, but I don’t recommend getting tea here at all. It’s wildly overpriced, (500 Rubles!) and not good at all. I’ve never not finished a cup of bubble tea, until I tried Chick O’Rico’s. Flavorless, undercooked bubbles, bland tea, only 3 flavors? and they all come with cheese foam on top which is the worst trend ever.
I have one more thing to say about the quest for bubble tea in Moscow- beware of Tea Funny. They’re ALL over the map, both Yandex maps and Google maps. But they don’t exist. I don’t know if they did at one point, but they definitely don’t anymore.
Because I am utterly obsessed with milk tea and frequently fixate on stupid things, I sometimes wonder if the whole thing is a practical joke and that’s why it’s named Tea Funny, but that’s probably a bit of a stretch. All I want to say is don’t even try to go to Tea Funny.
Things go out of business and change so often in Moscow that you can’t depend on anything sticking around. I’ve heard rumors that there used to be TONS of boba shops in Moscow, but not anymore.
As of now, June 2021, this is your most comprehensive boba list. I swear it. I don’t even mind that writing it qualifies me as a bit of a lunatic.
This is my 12 foot square kitchen in my apartment in Moscow on Thanksgiving 2020
Somehow everywhere I live, I end up renting an apartment that doesn’t have room for a microwave (or I’m just too cheap to buy one).
I learned how to cook in the US and tons of American recipes tell you to just “pop [something] in the microwave.” At first I really missed it, but after a while without it, it’s not so hard to live without.
Here are my tips and tricks to get by without a microwave:
You should buy a tiny pot and a tiny frying pan specifically for reheating.
When I set up a new kitchen I always buy a HUGE pot for soups and a HUGE frying pan thinking that’s all I need, but eventually I get annoyed having to wash them by hand every single time I warm anything up.
An electric kettle will make you hate your life a lot less, especially as an American who grew up without one.
Store your leftovers in oven safe dishes instead of plastic if you can. Or even a tin baking dish with plastic wrap if you are too cheap for glass leftover dishes.
When you need to melt butter for a baking project, stick it in a bowl and put it in the oven while it warms up. You’ll be way less likely to burn it than if you do it on the stove, you will only have to wash a bowl instead of a pot, and you will have free hands to prep other stuff rather than watching the butter.
Obviously none of this is rocket science, but you never know what might be helpful to someone else.
I always try to title these blogs so that it might come up if you are looking for really specific information. The word “safe” is really subjective though. Like is the Chinese government going to spy on you if you have a Huawei? Well… Yeah.
Should you care? Meh. Does it make you unsafe? I’d venture to say no.
My big worry when I was in China was “will it work outside of China?” And “can I use an American sim card with it?”
And then when I was finally all set to buy one, Huawei blocked Google. No Google play store on Huawei? That was really a deal-breaker for me.
I didn’t know anyone who owned a Huawei that I could ask about it, but there was one day we ran into a bunch of teenagers in a cafe and they wanted to practice English, so I asked them if you could still get any apps I might want like Twitter and Facebook and Netflix and stuff. They said not to worry about it, but everything I saw online said it was incompatible and that you could get most apps from the Huawei store, but not everything.
Eventually I decided to take the risk and just buy one. The price was right, and I couldn’t say no to those camera specs.
I was a little worried about setting up a new phone in mainland China without a VPN, but it turned out better than I could have possibly imagined.
I turned it on for the first time and it offered to port all of my apps over from my old phone over bluetooth!! Including Google play store!!
As long as your old phone is still functional, I’d say you have absolutely nothing to worry about when switching to a Huawei.
My only side note that I want to include is that sometimes American apps don’t sync notifications super well, but it’s not a big deal to me.
You’ll be hard pressed to find a full Turkey in most places besides the US. Your best options for a replacement would be some kind of other bird if you’re going for aesthetic- duck, hen, maybe a goose, or if you are really set on turkey, it’s becoming far more popular to eat turkey breasts throughout Europe. They aren’t too much more expensive than chicken breasts, and you can usually find huge uncut portions. Toss one of those in the oven, and you have beautiful, easy to cook and portion turkey breast! The hardest part of Thanksgiving is over!
Truly, beyond hunting for a bird, the worst part about prepping a Thanksgiving abroad is that absolutely everything needs to be from scratch. In the US you can buy stuff like frozen pie crusts, or pie crust mixes, Crisco, cans of pumpkin, boxed stuffing mixes, and most importantly cream of mushroom soup. I can’t tell you how much I miss Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup, even when it’s not Thanksgiving.
Of course everything *can* be made from scratch, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed, especially in teeny tiny European kitchens.
Pies and breads should be cooked the day before, mostly because they are the most labor intensive, and also because they can be served cold. Pies should also be one of the first things you make because homemade pie crust is so finnicky, and turns out better when it’s refrigerated overnight, so it should really be started on Tuesday, then rolled out and cooked on Wednesday.
Wednesday night you should peel and prep your veggies, and do a final check that you have everything before you start bright and early the next day.
I am also of the opinion that if you only have the day of to prepare, you shouldn’t try to make absolutely everything- I limit my sides to mashed potatoes, obviously, stuffing, my favorite, and a real vegetable, like carrots, just because you should.
But if you have an extra day, it’s manageable to do everything if it’s in advance. This year I made rolls, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, turkey, an apple pie and apple cider, and somehow it was the easiest Thanksgiving I’ve had abroad yet because I had an extra day of prep time! I made the rolls and the pie the day before and since I have no Campbell’s, I prepped this recipe for my green bean casserole: https://www.culinaryhill.com/homemade-cream-of-mushroom-soup/ (It was a lifesaver.)
The next day I was surprised that I had everything done a couple hours before schedule! Go me!
It’s easy to give up and skip Thanksgiving, after all, it’s not like you’ll have work off, or have any friends that can come over on a Thursday, but I really do think it’s worth it to put it all together. A little piece of home for you to share with your foreign friends who may never get to experience another American Thanksgiving!
It took me a long time to get to this point, but like with all other situations- doing what you want is totally okay.
There is a term used in Russia- Decembrist Wife, which is commonly used to represent true love and devotion of a wife to her husband. In the 19th Century, a group of rebels called the Decembrists led a revolt against Nicholas the First taking the throne. The revolt failed and the leaders were sent into exile- but their wives stoically chose to follow them.
Feminism in Russia is really interesting- women still expect their men to pay for absolutely everything with absolutely no irony. They follow social rules about women not lifting anything too heavy, *eyeroll* but really value strong female ~values. That’s why Decembrist wives as a romantic ideal are so interesting to me. Most Americans would consider “following some guy around” to be quite the opposite of what a “strong, independent woman” would do; But Russian’s don’t see it that way at all.
A Decembrist wife is a strong woman, true feminist, etc, simply because she knows what she wants and she is willing to do anything for it. She’s independent, and brave to give up her comfortable life to go into an unknown situation to support her husband.
I’m not saying I’m a Decembrist wife for following my boyfriend to Russia for his Master’s program, because Modern Day Moscow is certainly not the same as exile, but I’m no less of a feminist for putting my own life or possible career goals on hold to be here with him.
Women can do whatever they want. That’s basically the point of feminism. If you want to pursue a high power/pay job, that’s great! If you want to stay home with kids and cook and take care of your house, that’s great! The point is that as long as you are free to do what you want, and no one is forcing you to do the opposite, then congratulations, feminism is working!
As an American, I have sort of been brainwashed to think Russia is a little bit evil, scary, and not safe. But I recently hit my one year mark living in Moscow and I was realizing how incredibly safe I feel here.
Consider any megacity; the more people there are, the more crime there is destined to be, right? But Moscow is a lot safer than other comparable cities.
I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable walking alone at night in New York City, and I would make extra sure to hold onto my stuff and lock my doors in almost any of the other megacities, like LA, Delhi, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, or even Paris. Interestingly, I did feel incredibly safe in the Chinese megacities I’ve been to though.
I feel like I have said it 1,000 times, but Moscow is a very comfortable place to live. Transportation is safe, well-connected, and cheap, crime is low, I’m not overly worried about pickpockets, the average neighborhood/building isn’t dangerous, and at least from my own perspective, harassment from men is even lower here. Guys just leave you alone.
In a culture where women are generally dressed in their most expensive clothes, shoes, and jewels, with expensive haircuts, manicures, lip fillers and fake eyelashes, men will still (for the most part) surprisingly leave them be. They do tend to leer, but that is a general Russian trait, not just men being creepy.
One minor problem when it comes to men here though, is drinking culture. There is always at least one completely drunk guy on the metro- just absolutely smashed, and you obviously can’t trust a guy like that not to do something erratic, but even so, I’d trust a drunk Russian man to still maintain a semblance of social acceptability over a drunk American man any day.
I ride the metro alone every day for almost 2 hours, and I walk home in the dark on small unlit backstreets every night too. (Not that I come home super late, it’s just dark for 14 hours a day most of the year.) I’ve never had any problems. I even feel comfortable taking a quick snooze on the train during rush hour, provided I manage to snag a seat! I get paid in cash, and sometimes I let a few months worth of paychecks collect in my sock drawer before I take them to an ATM, and I am still not stressed about someone taking my bag, or watching me make my deposit at the bank. I would never feel safe doing any of that in any other megacity.
The cold and the dark are hard to handle, but being harassed, mugged, or assaulted is not on my list of worries in Moscow at all.
Finding Eden 